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Velociraptor vs Door

April 7, 2010
Courtesy of http://store.xkcd.com/

These raptor-aware citizens prepare to use locked doors to their advantage.

Raptor survival tip #2:

Velociraptors are very clever animals. Unlike your average dog or cat, or even modern-day pack hunters such as wolves or sugar-high children, raptors will learn to adapt. So if you find yourself on the run from raptors, you should attempt to shut yourself into a closet or seemingly secure room and wait things out, right? Because they won’t suspect that, right? WRONG. You will find out how sorely mistaken you are when that door handle starts to move back and forth.

The lesson to be learned here is that raptors will smell you, or they will hear you, and a door is not going to stop them from getting to you and enjoying some human-burger; determined dinos will either break that door right down (even through a lock) or figure out how a handle works. If that door has windows, you might as well lie down on a platter.

That said, doors will definitely slow them. A series of strategically placed doors along your getaway path, complete with locks or barricades, can be an invaluable tool to your survival. In familiar locations such as your home or workplace, you should have a mental escape plan from every room to every exit travelling through the largest possible number of doors and similar obstacles. Be sure to place heavy objects near key doors in these buildings that can be tipped into an anti-raptor barrier at a moment’s notice. Do everything in your power to replace doors containing windows or glass with solid (preferably metal) doors equipped with fast-action bolts.

Another option is an impenetrable panic room, which would be the only time that locking yourself into a room would be acceptable. But if you have one of those, you’re too rich anyway, and you could probably board your private helicopter to fly away from a raptor epidemic.

We can speculate that a velociraptor has a top speed of about 25 meters/second, which means that on open ground, you lose; barriers such as doors could buy you those few valuable seconds that could be the difference between seeing your next birthday or not!

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